Families that are going through divorce often don't know how to cope with the frustration that it can bring. Parents have enough difficulty communicating with each other, so it is definitely not easy to explain the situation and process to a child. Below is a brief explanation of how to tell your child the truth about your upcoming divorce.
Make it a Team Effort
A family is a team—one unit trying to achieve a goal. It is also the same when you add a divorce in the mix. You want to allow some time when everyone can sit down and discuss a plan to talk about the situation. When following this plan, your child will still maintain their trust in both parents. This will make their transition a lot easier as they get older.
Don't Point Fingers
Even though it may be an individual's fault, never point fingers. If it was because of financial reasons or infidelity, keep it to yourselves. Whatever the reason is, your child does not need to know why. In fact, they may not even understand it. So, until they are older, keep this information between you two and wait for the right moments to tell them the truth. Talking about a divorce can be done in a civilized manner, and for the child's sake, it should remain that way.
Ensure They Understand That Its Not Their Fault
Children are still adapting to the world and their surroundings, so when you add a divorce, it makes it more complicated. The natural tendency they have is to blame themselves. Most of them will close up emotionally, and it is difficult to get them to open back up again.
Reassure them constantly that it is not their fault. They might associate the problem with them not following your instructions, or something that is unrelated. In their mind, it is, but they don't understand that this was a grown up decision. Make sure that they understand this, and monitor if their behavior changes throughout the process.
Divorces happen sometimes. The important thing is to get through it as smoothly and tactfully as possible. As parents, remember not to include the children in the crossfire, even if you are having disagreements. If you feel that you can't handle talking to them about this, seek out a qualified divorce lawyer at Divorce Law in Calgary. You are your children's hero, and heroes set a good example. Don't forget that.Share